Part 1 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end

I fully healed from PTSD trauma after narcissistic abuse. This is how I did it. Today, I am giving away a content worth of 116 pages of book for free in this 6 part online personal diary series.

Journaling and keeping a diary was always a part of my healing process and mental health hygiene. In my new blog series “My ScapeGOAT´s Diary” I share my life story in depth, my personal “horror stories” with the narcissists and tips on how I overcame my PTSD trauma after the narcissistic abuse. In my diary, I combine the real examples from my life with my knowledge on narcissism from clinical point of view. I offer you a unique deep dive into my thoughts and emotions in a hope that you can use all my past experiences for the benefits of your own healing journey. This was my process of metamorphosis from a caterpillar to a butterfly.

Youtube song: Kidd Lee - Unshakeable

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Part 2 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end

I spent most of my life in a survival mode. I had to survive the narcissists as my family members, my friends, my boyfriends. And today, I sit here more less healed (there is always a room for improvement, and I am still on my way) and I look back just to evaluate my life because this is the first time I am actually not in a survival mode and I can finally sit peacefully and give it a thought and ... wow, my life was literary one big “what the ffff was this????”. While I was constantly busy with running through the darkest valley, I never actually realized how much trauma I endured and survived through my life, how severe the trauma was, how often I was hunted by the narcissists literary from the first day on this planet.

 

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Part 3 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end

What a paradox that the new narcissistic abusive toxic source of supply is highly religious. Once my first narcissistic ex met her, he suddenly converted from being non-believer to be this “super saint religious good man” who sits in the church couple of times a week taking pictures from the church posting them online. What a shizzz show… He even wrote me an e-mail out of nowhere: “I only want you to know that I started to visit church often”. Little bi_tch, I don´t care about your lunatic crazy narcissistic shizzz, just give me back my money. Pay me what you own me.

 

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Part 5 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end

As a child, I felt so unsaved most of the time trying to protect myself from my own family, people who supposed to protect me and love me, but instead of that, they have been my biggest enemy. It took me years of healing to start to trust my own self. I was so deeply traumatized, and I was acting out my trauma, especially in my teenage years. When I look back on my teenage years, I feel like that period of time was the just one big wtf. It was just one big mess. It became unbearable for me. One day, as a teenager, I have got drunk, and I wanted to “un-alive” myself and I cut my wrist. I did not really want to di3, I just wanted the pain to go away. As you can see, I am still alive so obviously my attempt was not successful.

 

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Part 4 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end

In the past, I was repeating the same mistake over and over again. I was setting myself on fire to keep others warm. I burnt into ashes and people who I burnt for did not give a shizzz about it. It meant nothing to them. Basically, my whole life in a nutshell would be me sacrificing for others, exhausting myself by rotating around toxic assess until I was left with nothing, I would neglect my own self just to give my all to others, I would sacrifice my own needs, wants and dreams to adjust everything in my life to other people´s liking to make sure they are happy. Of course, they never appreciated it because they are just users.

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Part 6 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end

That was a beginning of my healing journey. After I passed my “depression healing stage” and I finally was able to get out of the bed, I slowly transitioned into my “savage era”. My “savage era” was a healing stage where I felt very angry trying to process my anger. I concentrated majority of my anger into my work. I used my anger as a fuel to improve at least the materialistic aspect of my life.

 

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How to easily recognize the toxic narcissists / Toxic tango between codependents and narcissists / How attachment styles destroying our lives (and how to heal it) / How narcissists, codependents and borderlines are being made in their childhood / How to deal with the toxic shi_t as an optimist for your maximum benefits, healing and happy life

"Emotional abuse is an abusive behavior that isn´t physical, which may include verbal aggression, intimidation, manipulation, and humiliation, which most often unfolds as a pattern of behavior over time that aims to diminish another person´s sense of identity, dignity and self worth, and often results in anxiety, depression, sui_cidal thoughts or behavior, and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). List of behaviors that are potentially emotionally abusive: intimidation • manipulation • refusal to ever be pleased • blaming • shaming • name calling • insults • put downs • sarcasm • infantilization • silent treatment • trivializing • triangulation • sabotage • gaslighting • scapegoating • blame shifting • projection • ranking and comparing • arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency • threatening harm • forced isolation" (Source: wwwjoinonelove.org)

Once you manage to heal from narcissistic abuse, it is very important to learn from your past mistakes so you no more repeat the same bad habits, repetitive cycles, dysfunctional patterns or simply to make sure that next time you recognize toxic situation and toxic people way earlier and take yourself out of the narcissist´s mess immediately. Today I am sharing with you few "golden nuggets" for those who are starting their healing journey or those who found themselves somewhere in the middle of the narcissist´s dark circus and still feeling confused about what they are actually experiencing. I wish I knew all the following years ago. I did so many unnecessary mistakes in the process that I do believe that if I avoided these mistakes, I would heal and move on from my tragedies and rock bottom way faster.

How to feel your feelings / Art of PTSD trauma removal from your system / Dramatic emotions, emotional numbness, dysregulated emotions as a trauma response (& how to heal it) / The emotional price the children pay for being raised by narcissistic parents / “Inner child in inner house” exercise to help you to regulate your emotions and reconnect with yourself

Emotions is an energy in motion inside of your body. Feeling too much is a trauma response. Not feeling at all is a trauma response too. Everybody is different and therefore everybody deals with their trauma differently. Imagine your brain to be a machine. When the machine becomes over-heated from running for too long, it has only two options how to cope with this situation: the machine either explodes and breaks down or it turns off as a prevention from catching a fire. Your brain that is experiencing a trauma is working in a very similar way. Trauma is anything that overwhelms the brain to the point where the brain has difficulty to process these overwhelming feelings so the brain either experiences a mental breakdown or it completely shuts down. When the trauma is not being processed properly and in an appropriate manner, people who are experiencing something traumatic might either become very raw, dramatic, hysterical, neurotic, animated and “all over the place” or they completely suppress their emotions, they push them down, sometimes so deep where they have a hard time to access them again. It can even happen that you will be switching from feeling too much to feeling nothing, back and forth. Either way, the trauma makes you emotionally dysregulated. There are more reasons why you are experiencing trauma that is crippling your emotions – you might have been through some traumatic event (for example, car accident), you are grieving a loss that you are not ready yet to deal with, you are recovering from abuse and bullying, you feel overwhelmed by stress at work or in school and so on. Whatever is your copying mechanism to cope with your trauma, feeling too much or not feeling at all is a survival protection mode. 

The difference between healthy and unhealthy narcissism (Clear definition of who is narcissist and who is not) / How the narcissism is being formed in narcissists

Even normal people have a mix of unhealthy and healthy narcissism in them to some degree. However, the true narcissists are taking the narcissism to the extreme and this is when the real issue arises. People often ask: How the narcissists developed their narcissism? The answer is that the narcissists did not develop the narcissism at all. Their narcissism was always in them from the first day they have been born, they have actually never grew up out of it.

The very first trait every single person on this planet exhibits is a narcissism. Once the baby is born, the baby does not care if its mother is tired and exhausted, the baby wants the mother to comfort him, now! When the baby is hungry, it does not care if the mother is hungry too, it will scream until its needs are met and the mother feeds him. The little children are all highly narcissistic. All kids are little Hitlers. The narcissism in babies insures that the babies´s need and wants will be met by its mother. Nobody is completely narcissism free. Otherwise, there would be no fashion industry, no art industry, no industry where people can show their talent or passion for their interest. We all want a healthy portion of attention from people. What is love? Love is healthy exchange of attention, affection and appreciation between people. The difference between normal people and the true narcissists is that while normal people are able to give and receive (they love to shine but they also love to see others to shine), the true narcissist are not capable to give, only to receive. They do not allow other people to be in the spotlight too, they want to be the only people in the room receiving the spotlight. In fact, they hate and envy people who are in the spotlight. In their mind, everybody should be miserable (and they will ensure that people around them are miserable by making them miserable) and they should be the only ones receiving all the attention. It´s not uncommon that the narcissists will start smear campaigns, overtly/covertly attack people who are in the spotlight or punish them with silent treatment and mistreatment out of envy. The narcissists usually suck all the air in the room (and suck the life out of people). The narcissists always compete with others. You might not be aware of this but while you don´t compete with the narcissists (you wish them well and support them), they are actually always in competition with you (and they have only bad intentions towards you). The narcissistic partners always compete with their spouses, girlfriends and boyfriends. The narcissistic mothers always compete with their daughters. The narcissistic fathers always compete with their sons. Your narcissistic best friend is always in competition with you. As we are growing up, our parents are responsible to teach us the empathy by leading us by an example. The things go wrong when the parents are not possessing the ability to have the empathy themselves and thus they are not able to show it and teach it to their children. This is the moment when the new narcissist or codependent is being formed in his or her childhood. Even some healthy normal people might posses the narcissistic traits, it does not necessary mean they have narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder are two completely different things. We all have ego trips time to time when we forget to check our ego regularly. The difference between the normal people ego tripping and the narcissists "narc-ing" is that there are no victims behind the normal people while the cemetery is full of "dead bodies" behind every true narcissist.

Duping delight, narcissistic smirk / 4 simple DIY tests to uncover the narcissists: The empathy test, the vulnerability test, the eyes test, the smile test (Micro & macro facial expressions of the narcissists & non verbal psychology)

The more authentic you become, the more you will be able to recognize falseness in other people.

To recognize and uncover the narcissists is not an easy task. They can fool even professional therapists, investigators and the full blown psychopaths can fool even the lie detector (because the psychopaths have no emotions, nothing triggers them and where are no triggers, there are no physical sensations that would make the lie detector work adequately). Their superficial charm can fool even the psychiatrists with many years of experience in the medical field. The danger lying in the cluster B type of the personality disorders is that they look like everybody else. The narcissists are lunatics who wear "a mask of sanity" fooling people that they are sane and normal. Their craziness is not obvious to their surrounding. Which makes them even million times more dangerous because this helps them to blend among normal people easily.

"Halo Effect" / Narcissist´s false signaling, false reality, false image / The victim´s self-gaslighting & danger of cognitive dissonance

A lot of narcissistic serial killers were known as "a nice people" or "quiet and non - problematic" by their neighbors and coworkers. In fact, the individuals suffering from cluster B type of the personality disorders are one of the most charming people you can ever meet. At first, they are super sweet, very charming, great company, the greatest lovers, ultra best friends. The narcissists will put an intense work into trapping you. Intense love bombing is nothing else than a form of a manipulation to trap you. The narcissists will be manic to trap you as soon as possible because they know that what they present to you is fake and they are not capable to sustain their fake image for too long in front of you, they know their mask will fall off soon and you will see the real crazy monster lurking behind that mask so you have to be trapped sooner than this happens. It´s not unusual that the narcissists will urge people to marry them after very short time of knowing them to trap them with "the trap marriages" or they will trap their victims with "the trap pregnancies" with "the trap babies" very shortly after they met their victims.

Real reason why the narcissists cheat / The spouses as reality and caregivers and the side pieces as fantasy / S_ex with the narcissists

Narcissists are like Dracula - they fear light and they choose to live in the darkness, falseness, fantasy world and they wear "false self masks". They fear light, authenticity, truth and reality. The narcissists prefer to live in a fantasy and every time you confront them with the reality, they will run, hide or attack you. They will stay with you or they will be around you only if you are willing to give up reality and support their fantasy lalaland. Nothing is real with them. Being with the narcissists is like being in a constant trance state of mind, it feels like they put some kind of spell over you. Building anything with the narcissists is like building a house made of paper cards on a quick sand. Sooner or later, the fragile house on the fragile quick sand will collapse. It´s juts a matter of the time. It´s not about "if", it´s about "when". 

My life story: How I went from mental break down, narcisstic abuse, being broke(n) to a thriving super empath & joyful successful person / Tips for victims on how to heal from narcissstic abuse (from my own life experience & 5 years after abuse)

"The mountains and the canyons started to tremble and shake as the children of the sun began to awake". - Led Zeppelin

 

"I don´t think people realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally. So, if you´ve done that today or any day, I´m proud of you". - Unknown

Before you start reading, please, note that this article is a little bit different than my usual articles on my blog. This one is more personal. I remember when I was new on the forums with other victims of the narcissistic abuse trying to figure out what the he11 is going on, I was desperately looking for at least one success story. There were too many broken people, some of them suicida1, some of them even committed the suicid3 as a result of suffering from a PTSD trauma. I was like: "Fu...ck, don´t tell me these horrible stories, I don´t want to di3 neither I want to live this broken for the rest of my life, show me someone who survived, made it and became normal again, someone who became successful, healthy and joyful after narcissistic abuse, someone who healed from PTSD. And, show me how they did it, show me how they made it out of that he11". Then, I became that success story. Today, I would like to share with you my life story starting from my abusive childhood with a narcissistic family (including two narcissistic parents) to two romantic relationships with the narcissists to finally finding my peace and joyful ending. I hope it will inspire you and give you a hope that YES, IT IS POSSIBLE TO HEAL FROM THE NARCISSISTIC ABUSE. Not only that, once you heal, you become the best version of yourself. This is not a blog post. This is an experience.

 

♫ ♪ Youtube song Foo Fighter - The Pretender 

#Coach-Writer 📢 #11:11💫 # LilyTheNarcsSlayer 🔨 #Old Soul 👽 #Artist 🎨 #Woman in Revolt 👑 #Sun Taurus on casp with Aries 🐂🍰+🔥🔪 # Ascendent in Aries 🔥💣 #Moon in Pisces 🐟🌊✨🔮# 50% Mediterranean 🌴 #AlwaysLoveYourselfFirst 💞 #ChooseEmpathyForYourself 💖

Self-portrait

 

 

STAY OPEN ❤ / 5 signs your energy is fully healed after narcissistic abuse / The narcissistic abuse is an ultimate karmic lesson of self-love (How to pass the test)

Sign 1: You are your true self and you live your life as you wish.

You know you´re healed from the narcissistic abuse when you show up as your true self. Unapologetically. You do not fear rejection because you don´t seek the validation from other people. You don´t care what other people say, do or think about you. You just do you. You love yourself and you never reject your own self. You do not anymore live in a fear of persecution for being your own self. You are just beautiful you. You are enjoying you. You are doing exactly what you want to do with your life because it brings you joy and you don´t care if people approve it or like it. You refuse to do what others want you to do or want you to be, you do what is in alignment with your true self. You say "No" often. You do not fear to shine like a comet on the sky sharing with the world your true self. You don´t fear to be hated and disliked because you simply can´t be something else than yourself. You accept that some people does not like your real you.

Sinners narcissists vs. Empath-Anarchist Jesus Christ who was scapegoat of narcissistic family / Karma for codependents & narcissists / How alcoholics and narcissists regulate their negative emotions through scapegoats

The super empath Jesus Christ was a great example of a person who was clearly fighting his battle against the narcissists and he was later on killed by them. He was smear campaigned, he was scapegoated, he was mocked, provoked, shamed, he was a source of negative narcissistic supply. All the truth tellers are.

Jesus Christ did not sacrifice voluntary for the sins of the narcissists. He was literary forced against his will to do so, he was murdered and assassinated by the narcissists. Jesus was even murdered publicly as a warning to others what will happen to them if they will try to speak the truth too. The narcissists use all of the typical abusive techniques they used on Jesus to these days. All empaths who are going through the narcissistic abuse are going through exactly the same scenario as Jesus once did. This is a proof that the narcissists just never change. Whatever page in history books you open, its the same story over and over again. The narcissists are not capable to self-reflect on their sins, they are only capable to deflect and project those sins onto other people. The narcissists literary take their burdens and re-direct their burdens onto their victim´s shoulders so their victims carry the narcissist´s burdens instead of them. The same way as the narcissists forced the cross on Jesus Chris´s back. 

20 HUGE early red flags you are on the first dates with the toxic narcissist (Run, Forest, run!) / Sick love bombing vs. healthy dating / Right questions to ask on the first dates / The tactics to scare the narcissistic jerks away on the first dates

Dating suppose to be a pleasant experience but sometimes it can turn into a total horror story. Would not it be wonderful if all narcissists come with the visible tattoo "narc" on their foreheads? 

The end result of dating is either to enter a serious long term relationship or to get married. But with a lot of toxic dangerous personalities lurking out there in the world, one must carefully watch for the red flags to not to end up in some troubles. When you search for the right person for you, you are not choosing only partner for you. You are choosing also the future father or mother for your children. Marrying a psychopath, sociopath or a narcissist will screw up the family for literary generations. It will not destroy only your life but also lives of your children and children of your children. You are not marrying only the narcissistic partner, you are marrying also his or her family and because the narcissism is a generational trauma, you will eventually become a part of their dysfunctional crazy narcissistic family dynamics too. Have you ever heard about the evil mothers in law creating a living hell for their daughters in law? The famous MIL jokes are about controlling crazy "narcy - darcy mommas from hell". Things like trauma, patterns, "jerk-ism", programming are always generational. To watch out for the red flags is very crucial especially in the beginning of the relationships because usually the red flags we overlook in the beginning of the relationships are being the very same reasons why we break up or divorce years later. If you see these red flags on the first dates - run, Forest, run! 

The difference between a greater narcissist, a mid-range narcissist and a lesser narcissist (Do the narcissists know who they are? Do the narcissists know they are hurting people? Do the narcissists care if they are hurting people?)

The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. (John 10:10 - 29)

Do the narcissists know who they are? Do the narcissists know they are hurting people? Do the narcissists care if they are hurting people? Normal people with normally wired brains just can´t comprehend the evil and crazy actions of the narcissists and they often wonder if the narcissists just pretend to be dumb but in reality they exactly know what they do or if they really lack of any self - reflection and self - awareness. Are the narcissists robots, Satan´s children or aliens?

 

The answer is yes and no. The narcissism is a spectrum divided into three categories - the lesser narcissists, the mid-range narcissists and the greater narcissists. Their self - awareness depends on where on the spectrum the particular narcissists are. Some of them have absolutely no clue (known as "unaware narcissists"), some of them have at least some clue and some of them are fully aware (known as "self-aware narcissists"). Although, the result for the victims is the same - the damage is done to them either way.

Anti-narcissists life hack & next level dating tip: How to uncover and protect yourself from users (Become a mirror to people and invest in them only EXACTLY what they invest in you) / How NOT to end up as a total idiot in the relationships / Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships

The relationships have to have a consistency. Not only through the love bombing stage, but through the entire relationships. The consistency is a key. You can recognize that you are in the relationships with the narcissists when the consistency is only temporary. The narcissists do the investment in you only in the beginning of the relationships with the love bombing, it is a tactic how to lure you in (just like the drug dealers give the first heroin shots to their clients for free). But once the narcissists have their victims hooked, the consistency stops. The consistency with the narcissists is always only short lived. The love bombing is only a baiting game for them. They bait you with their affection, money, time, etc. to lure you in, then the consistency stops and after the love bombing is over, the narcissists become only the takers and the abusers. When the relationships are healthy, they have give and take dynamic. When the relationships are not healthy, usually one person is only the giver and the other person is only the taker (this does not include only materialism, but also affection, love, nurturing the partner´s soul, etc). The healthy relationships should be like the ping pong, the ball should smoothly flow from one corner of the table to the other corner of the table and then back, consistently. The moment the ball stops to move and it stays only on one side of the table, the  game is over. Many times, people who are codependents don´t know when to stop playing when the ball stops moving. You can´t hit the ball from both of the sides of the table while the other person is just sitting on the chair and laughing in your face watching you do the work for both of you.

Narcissism is just another word for energy vampires (Energy transference explained) / How to snap out from the narcissist´s matrix alternative reality & get out of the narcissist´s trap & break free from the vicious addictive cycle of the narcissistic abuse

This is your wake up call. This is your reality check. This is a kind reminder for you not to waste your time. You have been trapped in lunatic´s alternative reality for too long. The narcissists are the ultimate time wasters and life killers. They are the anti-life. It´s not enough to go no contact and "grey-rock" the narcissists. It´s important that you understand why you do what you do, why they do what they do and to understand what is "an alternative reality" so you can literary snap out of the pseudo-reality where your mind has been dragged into through the white rabbit´s hole and being held captive. Coming back to the reality after being around the narcissists and inside of their "illusion bubble" for long period of time feels literary like a trip back home from Wonderland  (and you are Alice) or some type of a video game where you are trying to find the exit from the matrix room. Being stuck in the narcissist´s "matrix bubble" feels like a bad dream you just can´t wake up from. It feels like a magic spell over you, you are just living in a weird trance state of mind. It feels like you are away from reality. It feels like a coma, you just "half-sleeping" your life away. 

How the narcissists are faking normalcy through mirroring and copying to blend among normal people (The narcissist´s brain is wired differently) / How to uncover the narcissists with this simple intuitive observation

Finding yourself in a situation where you have to explain the basic behavior, basic emotions and the difference between the basic wrong vs. basic right to an adult is a red flag. You do not need to explain all of those things to a normal people with a normally wired brain. Its automatic and natural for normal people to act, feel and think in a normal way.

 

You know that someone is a narcissist when you have to explain to the narcissists the basic human behavior and the basic human emotions. And they still don´t get it. When you interact with normal people, you do not feel confused, they do not feel confused either. Certainly, the empaths are not 100% perfect beings, empaths can have some conflicts here and there between each other too but for most of the parts when they interact with each other, the interaction is very clear, not confusing, "neurotypically rational" and for most of the parts easy going. Because the brain of normal people processes everything in the same or very similar way. On the other hand, if you have to explain to the adults - narcissists the basic simple emotions that even any child with healthy normal wired brain can easily understand and the narcissists still don´t get it, you know something is off with them and they are the narcissists. If you have to explain the difference between the basic wrong vs. basic right to the narcissists and they still look at you confused or does not understand why it is wrong, you know you are interacting with the narcissists. If you have to explain why some actions are obviously hurtful to someone and the narcissists still don´t understand it or they don´t care, you know there is something wrong with the way their brain processes the thoughts and emotions. If you have to explain just normal feelings and emotions that are absolutely normal and automatic for any normal person and the narcissists still look at you with the confused blank stare like you are some kind of an alien, you know you interact with the narcissists (or the sociopaths and psychopaths as they are all from one "family" called cluster B type of personality disorders). It is because the narcissists lack of empathy and consciousness. They are completely emotionally clueless. The narcissists operate from the ego and basic instincts just like the predators in the jungle. Interaction with the narcissists is very frustrating and confusing for normal people. The normal people always leaving the interaction with the narcissists thinking "WTF just happened / WTF I have just heard or saw?" To understand the narcissists, a normal person must stop projecting their normalcy onto the narcissists, they must stop to look through their empathetic lenses, otherwise the normal people will drive themselves crazy. The narcissists simply has a different functioning brain. Either the narcissists are being already born with the brain wired with the psychopathy or their personality (because narcissism is a PERSONALITY disorder) is being distorted by the childhood narcissistic abuse trauma which has a tremendous damaging effect on the brain on a physical level as trauma can change the way the brain is functioning (some parts of the brain are being underdeveloped or damaged by psychological and emotional trauma). To understand how the narcissists think, the normal people must look at the narcissism through the narcissist´s lenses.

Red flag on first dates: How to recognize a narcissistic love bomber (Narcissistic love bombing explained) / Why low emotional intelligence and trauma of your partner can screw up your life (Why some old people date much younger people, why pedophiles are attracted to children & why narcissists are childish and love bomb like teenagers)

Are you tired of dating toxic people and screwing up your life over and over again? In this new "Red flag on first dates" serie we will discuss some crucial red flags to watch out for when dating and getting to know new people so this time we can make a better and healthier decisions for our lives.

Have you ever wonder why the narcissists are so skilled and magnificent at love bombing but they absolutely suck in relationships? Let´s talk a bit about emotional intelligence and what crucial role does it play in dating and relationships. How to recognize narc "f*ck boys" and narc women in child energies already on the first dates so we can avoid them before we get too deep into a roller coaster dead end toxic relationships and screw up ourselves.

It will sound a bit (OK, a bit more) controversial, but I would like to break this topic down starting with the pedophiles as they are probably the best example of emotionally undeveloped individuals. 

Red flag on first dates : Your new date shares a story about traumatic past but never did any inner work to heal / How to avoid relationSH*Ts, toxic broken & broke people and don´t become their emotional punching bag, emotional regulator and ATM

The difference between conscious and unconscious dating is that when you are dating unconsciously, you are ignoring the red flags because you let your emotions over-write your logical thinking. You are acting literary like a little child who rushed into the candy shop and is being sweep off it´s feet by the candies... just to find yourself in couple of hours in a great stomach pain. Sugar is sweet but harmful. And emotions do not have any brain cells. People are always serious about signing the business contracts, they don´t sign any contract before properly reading it. Because they know that bad contract can ruin their life. Dating is the same. Its a contract. The end result of the dating is to sign a contract on your wedding day (of course, not everybody wants to marry, but the rules still apply the same). Dating should be not just a random sweep off your feet. You have to be in an adult energy to make conscious rational decision on choosing your partner properly because it will become  either your greatest investment or your greatest fail with very painful and expensive consequences. Its important not to be in a child energy because choosing a right partner is a serious decision, not a game. Dating is about collecting the data and then you use those data in a rational way to decide if this person is healthy or toxic for your life. Choosing a right partner is a prevention from your life turning upside down for years. By conscious dating you are avoiding or minimizing the damage to be caused to you by your primitive impulsivity. Impulsive dating with the toxic people is full of passion in the beginning. So its driving a car crazily fast and naively expecting not to get into a bad car incident. So, lets dive deep into the "red flag on first dates" serie. Lets do it differently this time. Today, we will discuss a bit on whats the difference between a forever broke and forever broken toxic individuals and a strong genuine people who were just temporary unlucky and fell by life but they are willing to work on themselves so they can become their better versions, move on and thrive again. When to back off from the bad news and when to give the new relationship a chance?

Narcissist´s lack of personality, false self mask, mirroring, mimicking, copycat, personality theft and character assassination

Narcissistic mirroring and mimicking is a manipulative tactic used by the narcissists in order to seduce, secure their sources of supply, groom them with an ill intention into the narcissistic abuse cycle and create a fake bond and a false intimacy with their future victims. With mirroring their targets, they pretend to be likeable, they want to impress their targets and they create a false sense of safety. They will tell you whatever you would like to hear and show you whatever they might feel you want to see. The narcissists are a great observers. First, the narcissistic predators gather the data about their targets by analyzing, scanning, studying, stalking, investigating their targets and also obsessing about them. Then the narcissists mirror back all the target´s likes, dislikes, desires, wants, needs to create a false sense of familiarity. The narcissist are like the parrots who repeat everything after others. They are the echo in the cave - when you shout loudly your name, your name and your own voice comes back to you but in a distorted way. The narcissistic mirroring is an illusion and a trap. Sooner or later, the "false self mask" eventually slips off and the victims are in an utter shock of what is right in front of them  - the narcissists are not even close to the person they pretended to be in the beginning or through the entire relationships. 

How to choose the right therapist or coach after narcissistic abuse | Therapy for the victims & therapy for the narcissists

A talk therapy is a very helpful method to treat the PTSD trauma after the narcissistic abuse. Here are some tips that might help you to choose the right therapist or a coach and some red flags to watch out for:

Choosing the right therapist or a coach for the victims after the narcissistic abuse:

Do a little research before you pick your therapist. Find the therapist in your local area who specializes in PTSD and C-PTSD trauma treatment and Google the therapist´s name to see what others have to say about this therapist. Before you make an appointment, have a little conversation with the therapist and ask him or her if the therapist is familiar with the narcissistic abuse, narcissism and codependency. If this is not his or her expertise, you might ask the therapist for a recommendation who can be a better fit for your condition. Unfortunately, many therapists out there do not understand narcissistic abuse and they might cause more damage than good to the victims of the narcissistic abuse.

Healing from PTSD trauma after narcissistic abuse | 14 powerful coping strategies that really work and you can do them already today

Trauma is an emotion being stuck in the survivor´s body bringing a lot of discomfort, exhaustion, stress and desperation to people who deeply suffer. Here are 14 powerful coping strategies that the survivors might try to feel a relief and/or to remove the trauma out of their bodies:

1. Observe your triggers.

Every good therapist will ask you to come to the therapy clean (not medicated or self-medicated). Its because the therapist needs to trigger you on purpose to see where is your issue. The medication would suppress your reactions. The triggers are the hint what is your issue. The triggers will give the therapist the starting material to work with. Observe your triggers - think about why you are feeling this or that way, what situation exactly triggers you, where it is coming from and what and who is the root cause.

Covert narcissistic abuse murders innocent souls | The rust that corrodes you over time

The passive-aggressive covert narcissistic abuse is nothing sudden. Its nothing like a black eye. Your nose is not bleeding. You have no bruises to show others to prove you have been abused. Its nothing you can touch. It´s more like a soft cold breath of someone on your neck that is coming through the invisible curtain and every time you look around through your shoulder, there is nobody. You feel under some sort of the spell. Like you live in some sort of a coma and you can´t wake up. The flooring is taken away from under your feet. And you do not even notice it. The roof is being taken from above your head. And you do not even notice it. All you can sense is the voice of your abuser who whispers in a hypnotic way to your ear: "Everything will be alright, my love .... just hold on". And the voice makes you feel so safe. And then, suddenly, the only thing you remember is how someone you love and trust stabs you in your back with a knife. Your body is falling to the ground and will be always remembered in a poetry as the body found in the middle of the ruins while the angels cried for lost of your innocence. Its not even the stereotypical murder. The covert narcissist murders your soul. Which is the greatest sin of all of them.

Inside the mind of a dark triad | Signs of a narcissistic sociopath (narcopath) and a narcissistic psychopath (antisocial personality disorder)

The sociopathy and psychopathy (antisocial personality disorder) more often than not co-morbid with the narcissism. The cluster B traits often over-lap and most of the sociopaths and psychopaths are also the narcissists. This deadly cocktail of narcissism mixed with sociopathy and psychopathy makes even the Evil look like the toddler. The individuals with the dark triad personality is a black hole sucking and devouring everything and everybody around them. Here are signs to watch out for:

The dark triad predators have a strong urge to exploit others.

When the dark triad predators sense even the little level of weakness and vulnerability in others, they have a strong and uncontrollable urge to prey upon that. They have a malignant intuition to sniff other people´s insecurities and fears and they either use it for their benefits or turn them against people and destroy them.

Did the narcissist change for the new source of supply? (Can a narcissist change?) | Why you should never take back a narcissistic cheater

One of the most discussed topics in the support forums for the victims of narcissistic abuse is "the new source of supply" and "if the narcissist can change". The victims can´t wrap their heads around why the narcissists treated them badly, used and abused them while they overnight changed into the saint perfect "hubby" and dream "wifey" for their new partners and they treat them good. Can a narcissists change (for the new source of supplies)? The answer is: no. Here is why:

1. reason why the narcissist did not change for the new source of supply:

The reason why all narcissists are textbook | If you know one narcissist, you know all of them

Its mind blowing to read the stories of the victims in the support forums. Its seems like their stories are being "copy pasted". Every victim claim to be abused in the same exact way and their stories differ only slightly. If you knew only one narcissist in your life and experienced a narcissistic abuse, you basically know all narcissists in the world because their behavior and abuse seems the same. Its not uncommon to read in the support forums that the victims explaining this phenomena as the narcissists being demon possessed and that the narcissists have a Jezebel spirit attached to the their souls. Even many professionals from the field nowadays admit that there might be a spiritual aspect behind the narcissistic behavior but is there also an explanation from a clinical point of view on why all narcissists behave and abuse in the same way?

What is the reason the narcissists are all textbook?

5 main differences between a narcissist and a psychopath (No more confusion)

Let´s first do some math and numbers. According to the largest study ever conducted on personality disorders by the U.S.National Institutes of Health, 6 % of the U.S. population had BPD (borderline personality disorder) and 6 % has NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). Psychopaths make up about 1 % of the general population. This means that if you go to the cinema with 100 seats and all tickets are being sold out, you sit with 6 full blown narcissists, 6 full blown individuals with borderline personality disorder and 1 full blown psychopath in the same room. And this numbers do not include people who are somewhere on the border between "being normal" and "being disordered" or having strong narcissistic traits. In reality, the number might be much higher. As our society is disordered itself and it rewards disordered narcissistic behavior, the numbers increased since past decade tremendously. This trend is alarming. More and more people knocking on the doors of the therapist´s office with depressions and mental health issues not even realizing that they are actually not "mentally ill" or "crazy and unstable" but they went through the narcissistic abuse and suffer from PTSD. Its very important to educate yourself on cluster B type of the personality disorder as at some point in your life, every of us, will find ourselves in an interaction with either narcissist, sociopath, BPD or psychopath at work, at home, on the street or in a grocery store.

What is a difference between a narcissist and a psychopath?

The narcissists are rarely diagnosed only with one diagnosis. Their disorder usually co-morbid with other disorders. Their type B of personality disorder might co-morbid with other type B of personality disorder (for example a "narcopath" is a narcissism co-morbid with the sociopathy, a "malignant narcissist" is a mix of the psychopath and the narcissist or you can easily meet the borderline psychopath) but also with other types of personality disorders such as a type A (for example, paranoid and schizoid disorders) or a type C (for example, avoidant , obsessive - compulsive or dependent personality disorders). Also, the narcissism is a spectrum - some of the narcissists score higher and some of them score lower on the spectrum of empathy and consciousness. Its very difficult to stick some certain label on their box. Every disordered individual is unique based on what mix of personality disorders they suffer from.

Here are the 5 main differences between a narcissist and a psychopath:

1. The narcissists are narcissistic supply oriented while the psychopaths are goal oriented (money, power).

7 signs you have a covert narcissist in your life | You sacrifice your everything to become their nothing

Did you ever heard the story about the frog and the scorpion trying to cross a river? Scorpion promises it won’t sting the frog if he can ride on the frog’s back. Half way across the scorpion stings the frog, even though it means they will both drown. When the frog asks why, the scorpion answers: “I’m a scorpion, it’s just in my nature to sting and I couldn’t help myself".

1. You sacrifice your everything to become the narcissist´s nothing.

You fulfill and support the narcissists wants and needs while your wants and needs are never being met. You sacrifice your needs, wants, dreams, goals and your life to become their nothing, a prisoner, a caged stuffed animal left regularly on the shelf being promised everything and delivered nothing, you sacrifice your everything just to become their toy to be played with, an object to be treated inhumanly and a disposable stepping stone to be used for their selfish agenda. Their agenda that does not benefit you at all nor brings you any happiness to your life. They do not treat you like a human, you internalize it and after enough time spend with the narcissists, you will stop treating yourself as a human too. They are the ultimate Troyan horse - once the narcissistic virus enters your operating system, it programs you to self destruct. The psychopaths have at least the courage to kill the people, the narcissists are weak and cowardly, they will bully you into the suicide and kill you in a "legal" way without even putting their hands on you.

2. The narcissists put you down so they can feel better about themselves.

10 weird, hurtful, shocking and damaging things all narcissists do to their victims

The narcissists are very charming in the love bombing stage. They put their victims on the pedestal and treat them like the queens and kings. They parading them all over the social media and in front of a family and friends. The narcissists are on their best behavior in the beginning of the relationships so its very easy to overlook the red flags in an early stage of a narcissistic abuse cycle. They over- do everything in the beginning. They over-help, over-care, over-praise, over-gift their victims. And then it stops. The victims enter the devaluation stage. Instead of a huge expensive fresh bunch of flowers the victims have been receiving in the beginning, the victims suddenly start to receiving half death cheap and broken bunch of flowers as a form of a covert insult. The devaluation stage is the time for queens and kings to be dragged off their pedestals. And the cracks in the masks of the narcissists start to show here and there.

1. That shocking moment when Dr. Jekyll left and Mr. Hyde arrived will be burnt into the memory of every victim forever.

Covert narcissist´s pathological shame and false self mask | Shame vs. guilt

The covert narcissists are shame based individuals. Their greatest trigger that causes them the narcissistic emotional injury is the the pathological shame. As they have been shamed in the childhood a lot by their narcissistic parents or caregivers, they developed a very fragile sense of self. Their coping mechanism to process the shame is to hide the insecurities, shame and their inner demons behind the "false self mask" (alter ego or avatar or placebo) that they developed and created in their childhood. They dissociated from their true self in the childhood and they suffer from dissociative identity disorder. The covert narcissists have "fragmented personality" and they are in a great inner conflict between what is real and their "idealized grandiose self". All they care about is the image they present to the public and they anxiously and constantly worry what other people think about them. They control and manipulate what others think about them by wearing their "false self" mask to feel better about their fragile sense of self and low self worth. As the covert narcissists are not capable to validate themselves, they rely solely on a validation from the external sources. As they have been programmed by their narcissistic parents or caregivers to hate themselves and not love themselves (and it was very painful and unacceptable emotions for the covert narcissists), they chose to not have any self at all (dissociation). Instead of being the "true self", the covert narcissists developed a copying mechanism of wearing the "false self" mask. As the covert narcissists are full of

Gray rock method | Stop running back to what broke you. Instead do this....

The "gray rock method" is a very practical method to use in order to walk the Earth unbothered by the narcissists. The whole point of the gray rock is to psychologically trick the narcissists into thinking that  you are boring like the grey rock sitting silently and boringly on the side of the road. As the narcissists love to trigger emotional reactions out of the people to gain a positive and a negative narcissistic supply (and make no mistake, they provoke people on purpose), being boring as the gray rock, answering their questions in a very short answers such "yes" and "no", not asking them any questions, not encouraging any conversation with them and not feeding their drama is the best way to get rid off them. Stay calm and boring in their presence at all costs. They will try for a little while to trigger you, but once they will understand that they will not dig out any narcissistic supply out of you, they will eventually leave you alone and they will move to some other victim to play with. Narcissists can´t stand boring people. They feed of drama. Although, in some situation is a necessary to stand up for yourself and let the narcissists know you are fully capable to be a predator too if needed and that you are not a toy to play with, however, some of the narcissists might be dangerous killers and provoking their disordered mind might not be the best idea.

The stages of a narcissistic abuse cycle | The nightmare that once started as a fairy tale

 

The love bombing is a first stage of a narcissistic abuse cycle and it is also known under the terms "idealization face" or "honey moon period" or "grooming". People who are not educated on type B personality disorder imagine the psychopaths as the crazy looking individuals with the axes in their hands hunting the poor victims through the abandoned houses. People who are not educated on type B personality disorder imagine the narcissists as individuals who are very vain and spend most of their times by looking in the mirrors, being a bit annoying yet absolutely harmless. These are very stereotypical views on the cluster B type of the personality disorder and although its true that the individuals who suffer from this disorder are very dangerous individuals and sometimes they even kill or push someone to suicide (actually, behind most of the suicides, crimes and murders you see on TV News, you can find cluster Bs), they usually do not look or act anything like the psychopathic characters in the classic horror movies, especially not in the beginning of the relationships. Quite contrary. Coworkers, neighborhoods, friends around the cluster B individuals know them paradoxically as "the nice guy" or "the nice lady". Also, most of the cluster Bs will never kill in their lifetime but it does not make them any less dangerous as they usually do a great damage to people´s life and they are capable to inflict a tremendous amount of pain to the point that their victims oftentimes end up in the therapist´s office suffering from a PTSD or C-PTSD. Its a great misapprehension that people can suffer from PTSD only if they are veterans or soldiers coming out of the war zones. People can also suffer from PTSD when they are or have been in an abusive relationships. Because abusive relationships are war zones.