The narcissist is like an alcoholic. When the alcoholic goes out to drink, he does not care with whom he is going to drink. The only thing that matters to the alcoholic is that he is going to drink. The supply for him is the alcohol, not the people. He can´t care less for the people. If you decline the invitation to go out to drink with the alcoholic, he would pick whatever next person to go out to drink with him. For the alcoholic it was never about people in the first place, it was about the alcohol. The
alcohol was the supply. The same with the narcissist. Narcissism is a personality disorder where the narcissist is being addicted to people the same way as the alcoholic is addicted to alcohol. Any kind of addiction is nothing else than avoiding yourself and refusing to look deep inside of yourself where the trauma and void reside. While the alcoholic is running from himself to alcohol, the narcissist is hiding behind addiction to people to avoid himself. The narcissist is going where he can obtain more supply - he either chase the adrenaline rush of drama and hate or chasing the positive supply by manipulating the victims to admire and praise his false mask. This way or that way, the narcissist has an urge to provoke any possible emotional reactions from people (positive or negative) as it is helping him to regulate his own emotions the same way as the drug fix is helping the drug addict to regulate his. This makes the narcissists the most draining and high conflict people to be around (for overt openly, with covert behind the doors). The narcissist is also highly materialistic and status hungry individuals thus another type of the supply he will chase are benefits that the people can give them such visa, free living, free vacations, gifts, sex, etc. They are "narc supply junkies". It was never about you (or anybody else in their life). They need their fix otherwise their inner world would crumble down (known as "collapsed narcissist") as they are not capable of validating themselves, regulating their own emotions, taking care for themselves, they need the sources of supply to do it for them. As one of the main traits of the narcissism is lack of personality and lack of empathy, we can´t really talk about true love from the side of the narcissist. The narcissist does not make any difference between positive or negative supply. If he can´t obtain the positive supply, he would at least chase after the negative supply. Any supply better than no supply. The best scenario for a narcissist is to have negative and positive supply all at once. One of the greatest techniques of the narcissist to obtain both, negative and positive supply, is to triangulate people. It does not need to be necessary the romantic triangle, it can be also triangulation of coworkers or family members.
alcohol was the supply. The same with the narcissist. Narcissism is a personality disorder where the narcissist is being addicted to people the same way as the alcoholic is addicted to alcohol. Any kind of addiction is nothing else than avoiding yourself and refusing to look deep inside of yourself where the trauma and void reside. While the alcoholic is running from himself to alcohol, the narcissist is hiding behind addiction to people to avoid himself. The narcissist is going where he can obtain more supply - he either chase the adrenaline rush of drama and hate or chasing the positive supply by manipulating the victims to admire and praise his false mask. This way or that way, the narcissist has an urge to provoke any possible emotional reactions from people (positive or negative) as it is helping him to regulate his own emotions the same way as the drug fix is helping the drug addict to regulate his. This makes the narcissists the most draining and high conflict people to be around (for overt openly, with covert behind the doors). The narcissist is also highly materialistic and status hungry individuals thus another type of the supply he will chase are benefits that the people can give them such visa, free living, free vacations, gifts, sex, etc. They are "narc supply junkies". It was never about you (or anybody else in their life). They need their fix otherwise their inner world would crumble down (known as "collapsed narcissist") as they are not capable of validating themselves, regulating their own emotions, taking care for themselves, they need the sources of supply to do it for them. As one of the main traits of the narcissism is lack of personality and lack of empathy, we can´t really talk about true love from the side of the narcissist. The narcissist does not make any difference between positive or negative supply. If he can´t obtain the positive supply, he would at least chase after the negative supply. Any supply better than no supply. The best scenario for a narcissist is to have negative and positive supply all at once. One of the greatest techniques of the narcissist to obtain both, negative and positive supply, is to triangulate people. It does not need to be necessary the romantic triangle, it can be also triangulation of coworkers or family members.
Example I: The narcissist triangulated an ex partner with a current partner. The narcissists obtains the negative supply from the ex partner (known as "old supply") in a form of hate and arguments and the positive supply such an admiration and validation from the new partner (known as "new supply"). To obtain the most supply as possible, the narcissists play manipulative mind games on both sides to trigger the jealousy in both of the supplies to watch them "fight for her or him".
Example II: The narcissistic parent triangulate his own children by gossips and back stubbing. The children now fight with each other and fight for the love, validation and attention of their narcissistic parent.
Divide and conquer:
The narcissists use the tactic of triangulation to destroy friendships and relationships, divide and separate people from each other.
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