Its mind blowing to read the stories of the victims in the support forums. Its seems like their stories are being "copy pasted". Every victim claim to be abused in the same exact way and their stories differ only slightly. If you knew only one narcissist in your life and experienced a narcissistic abuse, you basically know all narcissists in the world because their behavior and abuse seems the same. Its not uncommon to read in the support forums that the victims explaining this phenomena as the narcissists being demon possessed and that the narcissists have a Jezebel spirit attached to the their souls. Even many professionals from the field nowadays admit that there might be a spiritual aspect behind the narcissistic behavior but is there also an explanation from a clinical point of view on why all narcissists behave and abuse in the same way?
What is the reason the narcissists are all textbook?
The narcissists are all textbook because they have a disorder called "a narcissistic personality disorder". They
belong to the cluster B type of
the personality disorder and as all illnesses and disorders have their
typical symptoms, the narcissism is not different. Technically, the narcissism is not an illness as they do not suffer from a brain damage or any chemical dis-balance in their bodies. The narcissists have disorder of their personality that was distorted by a narcissistic parenting in their childhood and they are acting their unhealed trauma out in their adulthood.
For example, if you
have a flue, in 97 % the flue will have the exact same symptoms for one
person as it have for the other person. It will start with the person
feeling weak and fatigue, then the person will get a fever, aching
muscles, chills and sweats, headache, cough, nasal congestion and sore
throat. The symptoms are pretty predictable. The symptoms might vary a bit with
intensity of the flu, people can experience a slight variations of the flu, but flu
will be always a typical flu with its typical symptoms. The predictability is the same with the narcissism. The symptoms of the narcissism are the same, they only vary slightly in the intensity (as narcissism is a spectrum) and variations (as there are more types of narcissism).
The narcissists are cycling in
a compulsion repetition mode which means they always repeat the narcissistic cycles and narcissistic patterns over and over again with every victim. They would repeat their cycles and patterns even if there is no victims or nobody around them as the issue is not with the victims but with the narcissists themselves. They
never break their cycles neither their patterns thus you can always predict the next step of
the narcissists. They are predictable in their unpredictability.
Their narcissism has been developed in their childhood as a defense mechanism against their narcissistic parent´s abuse. The narcissists have been the victims once and because they did not heal their wounds, they became also the abusers. They went through the same type of the abuse they are now projecting onto their own victims in their adulthood. Sadly, this is a cursed never ending cycle of
people being abused and then abusing other people. They always passing
their PTSD to the next victim. So, this is another reason why they are
predictable because the narcissists suffer from PTSD and the symptoms of PTSD are also known. The PTSD is
predictable in a very similar way as the flu.
The reason why the narcissist´s abuse might slightly vary is because narcissism is rarely diagnosed as a solitaire disorder. The narcissism usually co-morbid with other disorders too (such as co-morbidity with sociopathy, psychopathy, paranoid disorders, etc). Those slight variations of the behavior depends on what mix of personality disorders the narcissists are suffering from.
Another reason why the victims might experience a slightly different type of an abuse depends also on an immunity and a type of the personality of the victims. The same as when people catch the flu - the flu virus has a different impact and course with each host based on his or her immunity system. Every person is different. Some of the victims might be codependents, some of them might be the narcissists themselves and some of them might be healthy. Every person reacts on the abuse in a different manner. So, the process of the abuse might slightly vary not only based on the behavior of the narcissistic abuser but also based on what type of a personality (with their own issues) is receiving the abuse.
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