Finding yourself in a situation where you have to explain the basic behavior, basic emotions and the difference between
the basic wrong vs. basic right to an adult is a red flag. You do not need to explain all of those things to a normal people with a normally wired brain. Its automatic and natural for normal people to act, feel and think in a normal way.
You
know that someone is a narcissist when you have to explain to the
narcissists the basic human behavior and the basic human emotions. And
they still don´t get it. When you interact with normal people, you do
not feel confused, they do not feel confused either. Certainly, the
empaths are not 100% perfect beings, empaths can have some
conflicts here and there between each other too but for most of the parts
when they interact with each other, the interaction is very clear,
not confusing, "neurotypically rational" and for most of the parts easy
going. Because the brain of normal people processes everything in the
same or very similar way. On the other hand, if you have to explain to
the adults - narcissists the basic simple emotions that even any child
with healthy normal wired brain can easily understand and the
narcissists still don´t get it, you know something is off with them and
they are the narcissists. If you have to explain the difference between
the basic wrong vs. basic right to the narcissists and they still look at you
confused or does not understand why it is wrong, you know you are
interacting with the narcissists. If you have to explain why some
actions are obviously hurtful to someone and the narcissists still don´t understand
it or they don´t care, you know there is something wrong with the way
their brain processes the thoughts and emotions. If you have to explain just normal feelings and emotions that are absolutely normal and automatic for
any normal person and the narcissists still look at you with the
confused blank stare like you are some kind of an alien, you know you interact with the
narcissists (or the sociopaths and psychopaths as they are all from one
"family" called cluster B type of personality disorders). It is because
the narcissists lack of empathy and consciousness. They are completely
emotionally clueless. The narcissists operate from the ego and basic
instincts just like the predators in the jungle. Interaction with the
narcissists is very frustrating and confusing for normal people. The
normal people always leaving the interaction with the narcissists
thinking "WTF just happened / WTF I have just heard or saw?" To understand the narcissists, a normal
person must stop projecting their normalcy onto the narcissists, they
must stop to look through their empathetic lenses, otherwise the normal
people will drive themselves crazy. The narcissists simply has a
different functioning brain. Either the narcissists are being already born with the brain wired with the psychopathy or their personality (because narcissism is a PERSONALITY disorder) is being distorted by
the childhood narcissistic abuse trauma which has a tremendous damaging effect on the brain on a physical level as trauma can change the way the brain is
functioning (some parts of the brain are being underdeveloped or
damaged by psychological and emotional trauma). To understand how the
narcissists think, the normal people must look at the narcissism through
the narcissist´s lenses.
The brain of the neurotypical normal people and empaths is
wired differently than the brain of the narcissists, sociopaths and
psychopaths. This is the reason why when the normal people interact with
the narcissists, the normal people feel confused and vise versa, the
narcissists are confused too when they interact with normal people. Did you ever tried to have a deep meaningful long conversation with the narcissists? How it went? Was your head spinning like on a roller coaster? Have your mind felt like you are being lost in some fog? Have you asked yourself inside of your head in the middle of the conversation: "Wtf is this?" And it´s not only about the conversations that feel off but also the whole dynamic and energy with the narcissists feel off too.
Talking
to a narcissist is like talking
to an alien. Because they are in some way alien to normal people. They
look like humans by design but they don´t posses human qualities. There
is nothing inside of the narcissists, except the void. They do
not
operate from EQ (emotional intelligence) because they have non or very
low EQ (they lack of empathy). They operate
from IQ. They are desperately observing with their IQ how other
normal people act,
speak, interact, feel and then they mimic it and mirror it. You know
you caught
the narcissists when you give them nothing (no emoticons when texting,
no face
expressions, no body language, no emotional reaction, you just stand
there emotionless like a piece of wood and not moving any muscle on your body or face) and
they stand
there too and stare at you with that blank confused look completely
emotionally
clueless not knowing what to think about you and what to mirror back to you.
Without you giving them clues, they are clueless. They have to stare at
you because they study you trying to figure out what the
human emotions look like so they can "copy/paste" you the same back. All
their copycat behavior, mimicked emotions,
faked human personalities are often coming from mirroring the
celebrities and characters from the movies. They live their lives like it is some sort of the movies and not a reality. The narcissists often watch a lot of TV and then they use sentences, moves and stories they saw in the TV. They do not have any
personality and that´s why they have to constantly look around where
they can steal all
of those "emotional properties" they do not posses.
This
is the reason why the narcissists are so great at mirroring others.
Because mirroring is for them like the white cane for blind people. It´s all they have to navigate through the life. They have nothing else to help them with their GPS. The
same as the blind people has been born with the defect of not being able
to see so they developed their "super power" to be very
intuitive and rely only on touch or the white cane, the narcissists are
also defected. The narcissists can´t rely on their emotional intelligence because
they have non or low so they needed to develop at least some alternative from
which they can operate from and it is mirroring. Without mirroring they would
be in the same position as the blind person from whom you steal the white cane. Without the white cane, the blind person would be lost in the space. The narcissists have defected emotions so they need to be at
least good at mentally thinking about how other people feel emotions.
It is very important that you know who you are (to be stable in your own personality, validate your own self and have a sense of self). Then nobody can ever drag you into any confusion and chaos. Especially when people you meet don´t know who they are. The greatest calamity arise when all people involved have no idea who they are.
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