COVERT NARCISSIST FREE
Healing from narcissistic abuse
Part 1 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end
Part 2 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end
Part 3 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end
Part 4 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end
Part 5 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end
Part 6 - My ScapeGOAT´s Diary: My life (horror) story, My success story: The unfiltered truth about narcissistic abuse / Surviving the narcissists in my family, friendships & romantic relationships & How I healed from PTSD trauma and codependency / From my mental breakdown to my spiritual breakthrough / Real life examples with clinical point of view explanations / How my narcissistic abusers got their karma and I finally got my happy end
How to easily recognize the toxic narcissists / Toxic tango between codependents and narcissists / How attachment styles destroying our lives (and how to heal it) / How narcissists, codependents and borderlines are being made in their childhood / How to deal with the toxic shi_t as an optimist for your maximum benefits, healing and happy life
"Emotional abuse is an abusive behavior that isn´t physical, which may include verbal aggression, intimidation, manipulation, and humiliation, which most often unfolds as a pattern of behavior over time that aims to diminish another person´s sense of identity, dignity and self worth, and often results in anxiety, depression, sui_cidal thoughts or behavior, and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). List of behaviors that are potentially emotionally abusive: intimidation • manipulation • refusal to ever be pleased • blaming • shaming • name calling • insults • put downs • sarcasm • infantilization • silent treatment • trivializing • triangulation • sabotage • gaslighting • scapegoating • blame shifting • projection • ranking and comparing • arbitrary and unpredictable inconsistency • threatening harm • forced isolation" (Source: wwwjoinonelove.org)
Once you manage to heal from narcissistic abuse, it is very important to learn from your past mistakes so you no more repeat the same bad habits, repetitive cycles, dysfunctional patterns or simply to make sure that next time you recognize toxic situation and toxic people way earlier and take yourself out of the narcissist´s mess immediately. Today I am sharing with you few "golden nuggets" for those who are starting their healing journey or those who found themselves somewhere in the middle of the narcissist´s dark circus and still feeling confused about what they are actually experiencing. I wish I knew all the following years ago. I did so many unnecessary mistakes in the process that I do believe that if I avoided these mistakes, I would heal and move on from my tragedies and rock bottom way faster.
How to feel your feelings / Art of PTSD trauma removal from your system / Dramatic emotions, emotional numbness, dysregulated emotions as a trauma response (& how to heal it) / The emotional price the children pay for being raised by narcissistic parents / “Inner child in inner house” exercise to help you to regulate your emotions and reconnect with yourself
The difference between healthy and unhealthy narcissism (Clear definition of who is narcissist and who is not) / How the narcissism is being formed in narcissists
Even normal people have a mix of unhealthy and healthy narcissism in them to some degree. However, the true narcissists are taking the narcissism to the extreme and this is when the real issue arises. People often ask: How the narcissists developed their narcissism? The answer is that the narcissists did not develop the narcissism at all. Their narcissism was always in them from the first day they have been born, they have actually never grew up out of it.
The very first trait every single person on this planet exhibits is a narcissism. Once the baby is born, the baby does not care if its mother is tired and exhausted, the baby wants the mother to comfort him, now! When the baby is hungry, it does not care if the mother is hungry too, it will scream until its needs are met and the mother feeds him. The little children are all highly narcissistic. All kids are little Hitlers. The narcissism in babies insures that the babies´s need and wants will be met by its mother. Nobody is completely narcissism free. Otherwise, there would be no fashion industry, no art industry, no industry where people can show their talent or passion for their interest. We all want a healthy portion of attention from people. What is love? Love is healthy exchange of attention, affection and appreciation between people. The difference between normal people and the true narcissists is that while normal people are able to give and receive (they love to shine but they also love to see others to shine), the true narcissist are not capable to give, only to receive. They do not allow other people to be in the spotlight too, they want to be the only people in the room receiving the spotlight. In fact, they hate and envy people who are in the spotlight. In their mind, everybody should be miserable (and they will ensure that people around them are miserable by making them miserable) and they should be the only ones receiving all the attention. It´s not uncommon that the narcissists will start smear campaigns, overtly/covertly attack people who are in the spotlight or punish them with silent treatment and mistreatment out of envy. The narcissists usually suck all the air in the room (and suck the life out of people). The narcissists always compete with others. You might not be aware of this but while you don´t compete with the narcissists (you wish them well and support them), they are actually always in competition with you (and they have only bad intentions towards you). The narcissistic partners always compete with their spouses, girlfriends and boyfriends. The narcissistic mothers always compete with their daughters. The narcissistic fathers always compete with their sons. Your narcissistic best friend is always in competition with you. As we are growing up, our parents are responsible to teach us the empathy by leading us by an example. The things go wrong when the parents are not possessing the ability to have the empathy themselves and thus they are not able to show it and teach it to their children. This is the moment when the new narcissist or codependent is being formed in his or her childhood. Even some healthy normal people might posses the narcissistic traits, it does not necessary mean they have narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissistic traits and narcissistic personality disorder are two completely different things. We all have ego trips time to time when we forget to check our ego regularly. The difference between the normal people ego tripping and the narcissists "narc-ing" is that there are no victims behind the normal people while the cemetery is full of "dead bodies" behind every true narcissist.
Duping delight, narcissistic smirk / 4 simple DIY tests to uncover the narcissists: The empathy test, the vulnerability test, the eyes test, the smile test (Micro & macro facial expressions of the narcissists & non verbal psychology)
The more authentic you become, the more you will be able to recognize falseness in other people.
To recognize and uncover the narcissists is not an easy task. They can fool even professional therapists, investigators and the full blown psychopaths can fool even the lie detector (because the psychopaths have no emotions, nothing triggers them and where are no triggers, there are no physical sensations that would make the lie detector work adequately). Their superficial charm can fool even the psychiatrists with many years of experience in the medical field. The danger lying in the cluster B type of the personality disorders is that they look like everybody else. The narcissists are lunatics who wear "a mask of sanity" fooling people that they are sane and normal. Their craziness is not obvious to their surrounding. Which makes them even million times more dangerous because this helps them to blend among normal people easily.
"Halo Effect" / Narcissist´s false signaling, false reality, false image / The victim´s self-gaslighting & danger of cognitive dissonance
A lot of narcissistic serial killers were known as "a nice people" or "quiet and non - problematic" by their neighbors and coworkers. In fact, the individuals suffering from cluster B type of the personality disorders are one of the most charming people you can ever meet. At first, they are super sweet, very charming, great company, the greatest lovers, ultra best friends. The narcissists will put an intense work into trapping you. Intense love bombing is nothing else than a form of a manipulation to trap you. The narcissists will be manic to trap you as soon as possible because they know that what they present to you is fake and they are not capable to sustain their fake image for too long in front of you, they know their mask will fall off soon and you will see the real crazy monster lurking behind that mask so you have to be trapped sooner than this happens. It´s not unusual that the narcissists will urge people to marry them after very short time of knowing them to trap them with "the trap marriages" or they will trap their victims with "the trap pregnancies" with "the trap babies" very shortly after they met their victims.
Real reason why the narcissists cheat / The spouses as reality and caregivers and the side pieces as fantasy / S_ex with the narcissists
Narcissists are like Dracula - they fear light and they choose to live in the darkness, falseness, fantasy world and they wear "false self masks". They fear light, authenticity, truth and reality. The narcissists prefer to live in a fantasy and every time you confront them with the reality, they will run, hide or attack you. They will stay with you or they will be around you only if you are willing to give up reality and support their fantasy lalaland. Nothing is real with them. Being with the narcissists is like being in a constant trance state of mind, it feels like they put some kind of spell over you. Building anything with the narcissists is like building a house made of paper cards on a quick sand. Sooner or later, the fragile house on the fragile quick sand will collapse. It´s juts a matter of the time. It´s not about "if", it´s about "when".
STAY OPEN ❤ / 5 signs your energy is fully healed after narcissistic abuse / The narcissistic abuse is an ultimate karmic lesson of self-love (How to pass the test)
Sign 1: You are your true self and you live your life as you wish.
You
know you´re healed from the narcissistic abuse when you show up as your
true self. Unapologetically. You do not fear rejection because you don´t
seek the validation from other people. You don´t care what other people
say, do or think about you. You just do you. You love
yourself and you never reject your own self. You do not anymore live in a fear of persecution for being your
own self. You are just beautiful you. You are enjoying you. You are
doing exactly what you want to do with your life because it brings you
joy and you don´t care if people approve it or like it. You refuse to do what others want you to do or want you to be, you do what is in alignment with your true self. You say "No" often. You do not fear to shine like a
comet on the sky sharing with the world your true self. You don´t fear to be hated and disliked because you simply can´t be something else than yourself. You accept that some people does not like your real you.
Sinners narcissists vs. Empath-Anarchist Jesus Christ who was scapegoat of narcissistic family / Karma for codependents & narcissists / How alcoholics and narcissists regulate their negative emotions through scapegoats
Jesus Christ did not sacrifice voluntary for the sins of the narcissists. He was literary forced against his will to do so, he was murdered and assassinated by the narcissists. Jesus was even murdered publicly as a warning to others what will happen to them if they will try to speak the truth too. The narcissists use all of the typical abusive techniques they used on Jesus to these days. All empaths who are going through the narcissistic abuse are going through exactly the same scenario as Jesus once did. This is a proof that the narcissists just never change. Whatever page in history books you open, its the same story over and over again. The narcissists are not capable to self-reflect on their sins, they are only capable to deflect and project those sins onto other people. The narcissists literary take their burdens and re-direct their burdens onto their victim´s shoulders so their victims carry the narcissist´s burdens instead of them. The same way as the narcissists forced the cross on Jesus Chris´s back.
20 HUGE early red flags you are on the first dates with the toxic narcissist (Run, Forest, run!) / Sick love bombing vs. healthy dating / Right questions to ask on the first dates / The tactics to scare the narcissistic jerks away on the first dates
Dating suppose to be a pleasant experience but sometimes it can turn into a total horror story. Would not it be wonderful if all narcissists come with the visible tattoo "narc" on their foreheads?
The difference between a greater narcissist, a mid-range narcissist and a lesser narcissist (Do the narcissists know who they are? Do the narcissists know they are hurting people? Do the narcissists care if they are hurting people?)
The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. (John 10:10 - 29)
Anti-narcissists life hack & next level dating tip: How to uncover and protect yourself from users (Become a mirror to people and invest in them only EXACTLY what they invest in you) / How NOT to end up as a total idiot in the relationships / Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships
The relationships have to have a consistency. Not only through the love bombing stage, but through the entire relationships. The consistency is a key. You can recognize that you are in the relationships with the narcissists when the consistency is only temporary. The narcissists do the investment in you only in the beginning of the relationships with the love bombing, it is a tactic how to lure you in (just like the drug dealers give the first heroin shots to their clients for free). But once the narcissists have their victims hooked, the consistency stops. The consistency with the narcissists is always only short lived. The love bombing is only a baiting game for them. They bait you with their affection, money, time, etc. to lure you in, then the consistency stops and after the love bombing is over, the narcissists become only the takers and the abusers. When the relationships are healthy, they have give and take dynamic. When the relationships are not healthy, usually one person is only the giver and the other person is only the taker (this does not include only materialism, but also affection, love, nurturing the partner´s soul, etc). The healthy relationships should be like the ping pong, the ball should smoothly flow from one corner of the table to the other corner of the table and then back, consistently. The moment the ball stops to move and it stays only on one side of the table, the game is over. Many times, people who are codependents don´t know when to stop playing when the ball stops moving. You can´t hit the ball from both of the sides of the table while the other person is just sitting on the chair and laughing in your face watching you do the work for both of you.
Narcissism is just another word for energy vampires (Energy transference explained) / How to snap out from the narcissist´s matrix alternative reality & get out of the narcissist´s trap & break free from the vicious addictive cycle of the narcissistic abuse
This is your wake up call. This is your reality check. This is a kind reminder for you not to waste your time. You have been trapped in lunatic´s alternative reality for too long. The narcissists are the ultimate time wasters and life killers. They are the anti-life. It´s not enough to go no contact and "grey-rock" the narcissists. It´s important that you understand why you do what you do, why they do what they do and to understand what is "an alternative reality" so you can literary snap out of the pseudo-reality where your mind has been dragged into through the white rabbit´s hole and being held captive. Coming back to the reality after being around the narcissists and inside of their "illusion bubble" for long period of time feels literary like a trip back home from Wonderland (and you are Alice) or some type of a video game where you are trying to find the exit from the matrix room. Being stuck in the narcissist´s "matrix bubble" feels like a bad dream you just can´t wake up from. It feels like a magic spell over you, you are just living in a weird trance state of mind. It feels like you are away from reality. It feels like a coma, you just "half-sleeping" your life away.
How the narcissists are faking normalcy through mirroring and copying to blend among normal people (The narcissist´s brain is wired differently) / How to uncover the narcissists with this simple intuitive observation
Red flag on first dates: How to recognize a narcissistic love bomber (Narcissistic love bombing explained) / Why low emotional intelligence and trauma of your partner can screw up your life (Why some old people date much younger people, why pedophiles are attracted to children & why narcissists are childish and love bomb like teenagers)
Are
you tired of dating toxic people and screwing up your life over and
over again? In this new "Red flag on first dates" serie we will discuss
some crucial red flags to watch out for when dating and getting to know
new people so this time we can make a better and healthier decisions for
our lives.
Red flag on first dates : Your new date shares a story about traumatic past but never did any inner work to heal / How to avoid relationSH*Ts, toxic broken & broke people and don´t become their emotional punching bag, emotional regulator and ATM
Narcissist´s lack of personality, false self mask, mirroring, mimicking, copycat, personality theft and character assassination
How to choose the right therapist or coach after narcissistic abuse | Therapy for the victims & therapy for the narcissists
Healing from PTSD trauma after narcissistic abuse | 14 powerful coping strategies that really work and you can do them already today
Covert narcissistic abuse murders innocent souls | The rust that corrodes you over time
Inside the mind of a dark triad | Signs of a narcissistic sociopath (narcopath) and a narcissistic psychopath (antisocial personality disorder)
Did the narcissist change for the new source of supply? (Can a narcissist change?) | Why you should never take back a narcissistic cheater
The reason why all narcissists are textbook | If you know one narcissist, you know all of them
5 main differences between a narcissist and a psychopath (No more confusion)
Here are the 5 main differences between a narcissist and a psychopath:
1. The narcissists are narcissistic supply oriented while the psychopaths are goal oriented (money, power).
7 signs you have a covert narcissist in your life | You sacrifice your everything to become their nothing
10 weird, hurtful, shocking and damaging things all narcissists do to their victims
Covert narcissist´s pathological shame and false self mask | Shame vs. guilt
Gray rock method | Stop running back to what broke you. Instead do this....
The stages of a narcissistic abuse cycle | The nightmare that once started as a fairy tale
What is a narcissistic supply? | The emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, financially, energetically parasitic lifestyle of the narcissists
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde | The difference between overt and covert narcissists
What is the main difference between the overt and covert narcissists?
The narcissists are switching between an overt and a covert mode
Narcissist´s word salad & covertly abusive verbal communication style of the narcissists | DARVO technique
How to take a revenge on the narcissists in a correct way | Karma for the narcissists (not what you might think)
The profile of a passive aggressive covert narcissist | Symptoms of a passive aggressive personality disorder
The covert narcissist with the passive aggressive behavioral patterns is like a vampire - he does not see his own reflection when he looks in a mirror. He denies, runs, hides, attacks, blames and does everything possible to avoid the self reflection. With such a long term training of manipulations and unhealthy copying mechanism taught in childhood, he became the master of mindfuckery. He can drive even stable and normal person crazy and every time he enters someone else´s life, he turn it all upside down. The knowledge and education on covert narcissism is one of the greatest way to protect yourself from the toxicity that the covert narcissist is bringing into people´s life. As the passive aggressive individual shows the aggression in a passive aggressive way and their abuse is very hidden and covert, it is very hard to recognize the signs. The knowledge is giving you the advantage of recognizing the unhealthy behavior on time before the damage to you can be done.
The childhood of a covert narcissist | Covert narcissism and passive aggressive personality disorder
Non verbal psychology: Duping delight, narcissistic smirk (and other micro and macro facial expressions of a covert narcissist)
- The narcissist is deceiving you, lying to you, stealing from you and he thinks he is getting away with it.
- The narcissist caused you harm or a damage and it is bringing him a pleasure.
- The narcissist feels pleasure from your misfortune caused by him or an external source (such hearing about your bad news). This is being called “schadenfreude” and this word is coming from Germany.
- The narcissist does not enjoy only to hurt you, he is also enjoying to secretly planning on how he will hurt you. Only pure thinking about plotting against you is bringing him the pleasure and a dopamine rush.
- The narcissist is proving to you that he is superior to you and you are lesser than him. The smirk is full of arrogance, smug and sense of covert grandiosity.
- The narcissist is gaslighting you, creating confusion in you and watching you to feel out of your balance. Your confusion is bringing him pleasure.
Fake laugh
Dark eyes of the narcissist during rage
Fake cry
Another facial expression to uncover a manipulative person with cluster B type of the personality is to pay an attention when they cry. Their cry is fake and they use crying as a tool for manipulation. Usually they pretend to cry and their eyes are being dry during the crying without any tears shed or they might cry crocodile tears. They can turn on and turn off crying and they can go from crying to laughing like nothing ever happened in a matter of a second. During crying they put on a show with lot of exaggerated sounds and dramatic weeping or their emotionless flat face expression does not match a deep emotion that the crying represents. They might appeal detached. Especially the covert type of the narcissists love to play the victim card whenever they can and they often cry to play pity party in front of others to obtain the supply - the sympathy or to cover up their abuse and crimes by guilt tripping the real victim so in the end the real victim ends up apologizing to the narcissist for receiving the abuse. When the narcissist failed to manipulate the victim to get what he wants, he might switch from crying into full blown rage full of hate. The only time you can see the narcissist cries for real is for himself. He never feels sorry for hurting others, he can only feel sorry for himself. Usually he cries and have a childlike temper tantrum when he collapses (known as collapsed narcissist) when he has no supply to obtain falling into a depression and when he rages because he received narcissistic injury. Another reason for a narcissist to fake a cry is to triangulate people with false accusations so he would stay clean while others will fight each other.
Another indicator you might deal with a manipulator might be the tone of his voice. When the manipulator tries to charm the target, he often uses almost childlike voice. Especially if you know the narcissist and you know how his voice sounds normally, you would be able to hear the difference when they suddenly switch to this childlike softer and almost hypnotic voice. The narcissist does this to create this illusion he is powerless as a child so you (on a subconscious level) put your guards down. They might use also flirting as an additional tool to charm the target. A very nice example is an interrogation tape available on Youtube of Jodi Arias, the female killer. While she has been in an interrogation room with a male interrogator, she softened her voice to sound almost like a little child and she was flirting with the interrogator by playing with her hair. The moment the male interrogator left the room and was exchanged by a female interrogator, she went back to her normal voice and her body language changed too.
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